Wow.

It is hard to believe that September is almost over. 11 more days until October and 89 days until the wedding. Time is flying by.

I have recently started going to a small group in Colorado Springs. It is a “20’s” group with people from my parents church. I really enjoy the fellowship, though it is hard to break in. History is important. The people are great and I feel welcomed, history just takes time. It is so nice to be able to meet with other people my age once a week. I took this for granted when I was in college, and I regretted that when I was in Japan.

I am still looking for a job, but a girl at my small group works for Compassion International and has been sending me open jobs. Which is really cool. 🙂

I am so excited for my life to start… the waiting for it to happen is the hard part.

Ok… time for the news!!!

I’M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!

More details to come!

The realization hit me last night.

I am going home tomorrow.

It feels too good to be true, and almost like I am preparing for another vacation.

But the empty walls and full suitcases prove otherwise.

Those of you who have experienced the last minute hectic-ness of moving with me… (My mom and Megan.) Know all too well how I procrastinate until the end. 🙂

You would be proud, because I have not done that this time.

I am ready to go… I really am. Perhaps the fact that I always knew this was temporary has made it so easy to leave. Another page has turned. It wasn’t a surprise.

And now I am done… heading home into the unknown, with faith and family as my strength.

Good-bye Japan. It was fun. I will miss you, and I hope to visit you again someday.

This past year my blogs have been filled with Japan.

Being excited to get here.

Being scared I came.

Being frustrated in general.

Being filled with hope at my imminent return home..

Today is Thursday July 13, which means that in approximately 12 days, I will return to Colorado. Of course I am happy to be going home. It will be great to spend time with people again without stressing out about doing some forbidden act that would earn me a horrible reputation, on the spot, FOREVER. (Like blowing my nose openly in the teachers room.) I am excited to have a normal dating relationship again.  And I am excited to live with my parents during, what is quite possibly, the last time I will live as a single individual for the rest of my life. I am happy to get away from the feeling of being restricted and restrained from doing things I love to do or going anywhere I want WHENEVER I want. ( I will probably make a Wal-mart run at mid-night, just because I can.) I am happy that I will, once again, be anonymous to everyone but my family and friends.

Nonetheless, and surprisingly so, I growing steadily more contemplative and sorrowful over the loss that will occur on my departure from this beautiful country. I have been thinking lately about periods of time in my life that I enjoyed or were special… that no matter what I do today, can never be repeated. In 12 days, Japan will become one of those memories. The students who made an effort to speak to me in English, the cozy – if tiny- apartment where I found sanctuary, the teachers I worked with… all will be lost to me once I get on that plane.

Sometimes knowing the end is coming is more cruel than if it came suddenly. I have been trying to appreciate things and moments SO much…. that I am overwhelmed when there are so many things and I feel like I could be doing something better to help preserve the memories.

I am sad to leave, and happy to return home. The hardest part is getting to that middle point where I am no longer leaving… but returning . After that, I just have to enjoy the ride.

Hello hello!!!

The week I spent with my mom was AMAZING! It was fun to have a roommate for a week… and cool to talk to someone in normal English on a daily basis again. It made me miss home even MORE and I can not WAIT to come back on July 25th. We had so much fun that I can’t even begin to write it all down… but it was cool. And too bad all of you had to miss out. 🙂

In other cool news, I gave my first oboe lesson yesterday!!! How great is that?!?!?! And it was fun! Even though I speak very little Japanese and she speaks very little English, it  went REALLY well!

YES for the weekend! My last elementary school visit is on Monday. Along with a health check that requires me to take a stool sample. Like an animal. How gross is that?

There are a couple of amazing things that have happened lately that I feel I must share!

1. Two days ago I had just peeled the shell off of my hard boiled egg and split it in half to remove the fatty yolk, and to my surprise… THERE WERE TWO YOLKS! That has never happened to me before. I felt, strangely, special.

2. After classes were finished yesterday, a girl from one of the second year classes hugged me! That is only like the second time EVER a Japanese student has hugged me. But the amazing, and sad, part was how surprised I was by it. I have forgotten to need hugs every day.

3. If you can believe it… I got myself out of bed at 5 am to go walking/jogging this morning. (My 4th day in a row!!!) The surprising part?? It was raining, but I did it anyway!

4. As of today I have 40 days until I come home and 8 days until my mom comes to visit! HECK YES!!!!

5. And finally… I looked out of my balcony window last night, just before the last turtle jumped off the buoy into the water. Usually I wait and wait for them to get off the buoys… there is just something fun about watching a turtle dive, little head first, into the lake. But last night I didn’t have to wait. It just happened. Pretty cool.

It is the joy in the little things that makes my world go ’round.

I was almost finished with my last post, when the phone rang here at school.

I could tell it wasn’t a normal phone call. Usually conversations on the telephone at school are even toned and pleasant, if not happy.

Something was wrong. The teacher hung up and explained to the other teachers in the room, who equally gasped and started trying to find the principle. Fortunately the English teacher made eye contact with me, and I asked “What happened?”

He explained that a teacher, Mrs. Sumida who teaches home-economics, had been driving to another town about an hour away, when she was in a car accident.

I was waiting for him to say she was injured badly and in the hospital, and that doctors said she would be ok.

What I was waiting for, didn’t come.

Mrs. Sumida died today.

The rest of the teachers are coming into the office now… each one being told the news. Each reacting a little differently. The shock is what is preventing tears. And for me, it is only the fact that I can’t cry here. Mrs. Sumida didn’t speak English, but she was always very friendly toward me. Last summer when I first arrived, she used to bring platters of freshly cut fruit to school and offer me some, since I was too shy to take it on my own. Two weeks ago, the 1st years had a field trip to a wonderful rose garden. It was she, who walked with me admiring the roses. She loved them too. I even have a picture of her hand holding a particularly pretty one which is on my cell phone display.

I didn’t know her well… but I knew her. And the reality of the frailty of life has, once again, been reminded me. Life can be gone in an instant… she was just driving to another school.

My heart hurts for her today… and her family… and for the students who took classes with her.

The students don’t know yet. They continue to enter the darkness of the teachers’ room with the light heartedness of ignorance.

The air in this room is very heavy… it hurts my chest to breathe.

Yes. I was almost killed last night.

It was a dark and dreary night. (Well, actually it was one of the most summer-like early evenings we have had yet! Sun was shining brightly as it set , turtles were sun-bathing… fresh-cut grass wafting gently in through the windows….. ahem.. sorry.)

I was feeling WAY undernourished, my hand trembling and my body weak. (Which shouldn’t have been possible, since I had eaten 4 fully satisfying meals on my new healthy eating lifestyle plan.)

I suddenly craved red meat, like a lioness who hadn’t eaten in a month. (Which makes a little sense, since I hadn’t eaten any meat other than chicken and tuna in about a month.)

I braved the elements as I trudged to the store. ( I unlocked my bike and rode 2.5 minutes DOWNHILL  to the grocery store.)

I foraged for red meat… killing everything in sight. ( I calmly purchased 500 grams[1 pound] of ground beef, a half head of lettuce and the tiniest block of cheese I could find, which was roughly the size of a string cheese.)

I ran home and tore open everything I bought and threw it in a large bowl and ate it raw. ( I put my purchases gently in the basket of my bicycle and made my way home. I then opened the package of beef and cooked it, mixing the taco seasoning when it was necessary. [the foreign food “section” of the grocery store recently started selling El Paso taco kits… pretty great.])

The contents I threw in my bowl were eaten in record time… as though a ravenous wolf were eating it’s prey. ( Actually…. no, that is pretty much how it happened.)

The impact of the three taco shells with a cup of beef, tomatoes, lettuce and small pieces of cheese, taken as fast as I ate it…. proved to cause an upset stomach and even weirder dreams.

The end.

Hi.

It’s been a while. Nothing much has really changed since my last post… I have been MIA for the past few weeks online, because the internet was “down”. And by “down”, I mean the internet cord was unplugged from the computer for a WEEK and none of the Japanese people I work with figured it out. So I finally said something to the teacher who works with computers. (Read, I asked someone to translate that the internet was broken and I needed it fixed ASAP.) Of course, he figured it out, and then I had a week of elementary school visits… where I don’t have access to the internet anyway. All in all, I am happy to be online again. I really am.

May went as fast as I thought it would. Tomorrow is the last day of May, leaving me only 55 days until I return home. You have no idea what a “light at the end of the tunnel” that knowledge has been for me. I am finally ok living here… or rather, dealing with it anyway. I don’t panic about all the things that drive me CRAZY about Japanese culture or and I certainly don’t cry out of exasperation. But I certainly get frustrated. And it is with the same things I was frustrated with 10 months ago. The only difference now, is that in two more months I am going home. To be with my family…. to see my boyfriend…. to shop in stores where I can read labels and buy pants that fit. 🙂 Yes, I am ready to go home. And yes I will miss the life I had here in Japan… it just might take a while. (Like till the next sumo tournament.) Just kidding.

On a positive note… I have lost 25 pounds since I arrived in Japan almost a year ago. How cool is that? Just another 30 until I reach my goal. Cake, I tell you…. Cake.

The turtles are still there. The tadpoles are swimming. And the birds never looked happier.

Dun dun dun…..

Just so you (my mom) don’t freak out or anything, the “earthquake” happened at 1:42am on Monday morning. If I were dead, missing random body parts, or homeless… you would have heard about it by now. 🙂

I say “earthquake” because it was more of a gentle swaying. I woke up, but then tried to go back to sleep… thinking I must be imagining the slight back and forth movement of my apartment. Nothing moved on my shelves, nothing fell… but it was happening. And I was too sleepy to get out of bed and enjoy it. 🙂 Just kidding.

The only way I knew it was real, and it only lasted maybe 10 seconds… was because, even in my state of sleep… my subconscious sensed the danger. I couldn’t fall asleep afterward because my adrenaline was RUSHING. Heart beating fast and everything!!!

So, Caleb Trim… I was not on top of a bunk bed… but it was a bed. AND it was an Earthquake. 🙂 I have now… experienced that list that you posted last year… in its entirety.  ( I think.) 🙂