Jared and I had a long talk on Wednesday. About everything and nothing…( you know how those conversations go. ) It blows my mind that two and a half years have passed since we promised forever to each other. And that third anniversary is just around the corner.
I am 26 years old, and the same things I have struggled with in high school are still there. The heart of the struggle is the same… though the titles may have changed.
At my core, I deeply need to feel passion for what I do. I need to feel like I am making an impact, or difference, or that I matter. I need to feel special. And perhaps, after all my years loving God… I have a God shaped hole I have still not filled with Him. Whatever the reason, I feel like my life needs more. More of everything. More music, more people, more commitment, more selflessness… And I know where I need to start, but it is a scary prospect to let God lead you. Faith has lead to some crazy things in my life… and if you let Him, He’ll rock your world. He will pluck you out of your comfort zone and drop you into something better.
Harder?? Very possible. Challenging?? Very PROBABLE. Good for you??? Always.
So, here I am. I have a husband who loves me, supports me, and would do anything for me. I was blessed to come from a loving family and married into an equally loving and giving one. I own a house and have my own mini-zoo at home. I am blessed to have close friends that I can share anything with, and who love me anyway. I have the perfect environment to put my faith in God.
And should the lesson I need to learn, be that I fall flat on my face, broken… I will be ok.