Where did October go? Does anyone else feel like it moved unusually fast?

A blessing and a curse all at once.

Still no job.

Tomorrow is November 1st. Soon I will say ” We are getting married next month.” EEK! I am so ready to be married, but there is still SO MUCH that needs to be done.

Yesterday I was confronted by the same thing twice. I went to lunch with my dad and then to do some errands, and he asked me “When you are trying to follow God’s will, how do you tell the difference between Satan getting in the way, and God telling you no?” Later in the day, my friend Rebecca came and picked me up to get a cup of tea… she talked about a situation she was going through, with the same thoughts.

I have been struggling to figure out these things for myself. Of course each situation is different, but the search for God’s plan for my life and the courage to actively participate in that plan, no matter how scary or far from my comfort zone… is sometimes wearing.

I just want to be wise enough to make the right decision.

I want to be patient enough to wait for God’s timing.

And I want to be deaf enough not to hear the world telling me that I am wrong for doing so.

Ahh the first snow… (the first REAL snow)

It has been overcast all day.

And suddenly it began snowing.

It is the kind of weather that demands you slow down, read a book, wear a big sweatshirt, and drink something warm.

It’s also the kind of weather that makes me wish I were married now. To have someone to cook soup and grilled cheese for and then cuddle while watching a movie. And then I wouldn’t have to say good-bye and drive the hour and a half home.

______________________

On a totally unrelated note, I think there is a mouse that is sharing my bedroom with me. I found some black looking pellets on my window sill (quite possibly mouse ‘number two’) and my bean plant was missing dirt… which was also scattered all over my window sill. Like a small animal had been digging… or something.

So I put some almonds out and tonight I might put some cheese… just to see if I am correct.

Oh the weirdness.

Credit Card fraud is not a cool thing.

I thought my $500 check had been deposited… meaning my Prius would be on its way soon.

Instead… somewhere in California, someone who has GOT TO BE KIDDING ME,

Bought $172.13 of game stuff from EB Games

Bought $270.65 of Groceries at Ralphs

Bought $113.02 of gas and whatnot at 7-eleven

and finally a dinner at Wienerschnizel for 16.19.

I am unemployed. All the money I have is in my account, and this geek spent half of it.

Last night I cried.

This morning I went to the bank and filed paperwork to get my money back for unauthorized use.

Somehow, in this cruel world… justice has prevailed. ( I get reimbursed in 7-10 days.)

And some idiot in Cali is eating, playing games, and driving…. for free.

I am growing weary…

It feels like I am in the dating scene again.

Compassion broke up with me this morning… via email.

Rejection is rejection, no matter who it comes from.

I got a call from Compassion International last Friday… they were calling to schedule an interview on Monday for the Sponsor Correspondence position.

The interview went well… I felt really good about it, and if it works out, I think I will be very happy there.

Today I mailed another application to another company.

The uncertainty of tomorrow makes my heart heavy.

All I want is for someone to allow me to do what I am able to do.

Phone… please ring!!