Death by Taco Salad… almost.

Yes. I was almost killed last night.


It was a dark and dreary night. (Well, actually it was one of the most summer-like early evenings we have had yet! Sun was shining brightly as it set , turtles were sun-bathing… fresh-cut grass wafting gently in through the windows….. ahem.. sorry.)


I was feeling WAY undernourished, my hand trembling and my body weak. (Which shouldn’t have been possible, since I had eaten 4 fully satisfying meals on my new healthy eating lifestyle plan.)


I suddenly craved red meat, like a lioness who hadn’t eaten in a month. (Which makes a little sense, since I hadn’t eaten any meat other than chicken and tuna in about a month.)


I braved the elements as I trudged to the store. ( I unlocked my bike and rode 2.5 minutes DOWNHILL  to the grocery store.)


I foraged for red meat… killing everything in sight. ( I calmly purchased 500 grams[1 pound] of ground beef, a half head of lettuce and the tiniest block of cheese I could find, which was roughly the size of a string cheese.)


I ran home and tore open everything I bought and threw it in a large bowl and ate it raw. ( I put my purchases gently in the basket of my bicycle and made my way home. I then opened the package of beef and cooked it, mixing the taco seasoning when it was necessary. [the foreign food “section” of the grocery store recently started selling El Paso taco kits… pretty great.])


The contents I threw in my bowl were eaten in record time… as though a ravenous wolf were eating it’s prey. ( Actually…. no, that is pretty much how it happened.)


The impact of the three taco shells with a cup of beef, tomatoes, lettuce and small pieces of cheese, taken as fast as I ate it…. proved to cause an upset stomach and even weirder dreams.


The end.


 

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