I am excited for tomorrow!

An interview at 12:30. Quite possibly THE job.

Doing wedding errands with my dad (Finally checking off a few more things.)

And small group tomorrow night.

HECK YES.

Where did October go? Does anyone else feel like it moved unusually fast?

A blessing and a curse all at once.

Still no job.

Tomorrow is November 1st. Soon I will say ” We are getting married next month.” EEK! I am so ready to be married, but there is still SO MUCH that needs to be done.

Yesterday I was confronted by the same thing twice. I went to lunch with my dad and then to do some errands, and he asked me “When you are trying to follow God’s will, how do you tell the difference between Satan getting in the way, and God telling you no?” Later in the day, my friend Rebecca came and picked me up to get a cup of tea… she talked about a situation she was going through, with the same thoughts.

I have been struggling to figure out these things for myself. Of course each situation is different, but the search for God’s plan for my life and the courage to actively participate in that plan, no matter how scary or far from my comfort zone… is sometimes wearing.

I just want to be wise enough to make the right decision.

I want to be patient enough to wait for God’s timing.

And I want to be deaf enough not to hear the world telling me that I am wrong for doing so.

Ahh the first snow… (the first REAL snow)

It has been overcast all day.

And suddenly it began snowing.

It is the kind of weather that demands you slow down, read a book, wear a big sweatshirt, and drink something warm.

It’s also the kind of weather that makes me wish I were married now. To have someone to cook soup and grilled cheese for and then cuddle while watching a movie. And then I wouldn’t have to say good-bye and drive the hour and a half home.

______________________

On a totally unrelated note, I think there is a mouse that is sharing my bedroom with me. I found some black looking pellets on my window sill (quite possibly mouse ‘number two’) and my bean plant was missing dirt… which was also scattered all over my window sill. Like a small animal had been digging… or something.

So I put some almonds out and tonight I might put some cheese… just to see if I am correct.

Oh the weirdness.

Credit Card fraud is not a cool thing.

I thought my $500 check had been deposited… meaning my Prius would be on its way soon.

Instead… somewhere in California, someone who has GOT TO BE KIDDING ME,

Bought $172.13 of game stuff from EB Games

Bought $270.65 of Groceries at Ralphs

Bought $113.02 of gas and whatnot at 7-eleven

and finally a dinner at Wienerschnizel for 16.19.

I am unemployed. All the money I have is in my account, and this geek spent half of it.

Last night I cried.

This morning I went to the bank and filed paperwork to get my money back for unauthorized use.

Somehow, in this cruel world… justice has prevailed. ( I get reimbursed in 7-10 days.)

And some idiot in Cali is eating, playing games, and driving…. for free.

I am growing weary…

It feels like I am in the dating scene again.

Compassion broke up with me this morning… via email.

Rejection is rejection, no matter who it comes from.

I got a call from Compassion International last Friday… they were calling to schedule an interview on Monday for the Sponsor Correspondence position.

The interview went well… I felt really good about it, and if it works out, I think I will be very happy there.

Today I mailed another application to another company.

The uncertainty of tomorrow makes my heart heavy.

All I want is for someone to allow me to do what I am able to do.

Phone… please ring!!

This time last year I was sitting on my bed in Japan, when the song by Green Day played on the radio. Even though my reason for wanting September to be over then was different than the song’s meaning, I still felt it worked. I can’t believe it has been a year already from that time I was so alone and ready to be back home.

Now, September has passed unnoticed. Suddenly October is next week and I don’t feel like I have accomplished near what I should have. My name is changing forever in just over 2 1/2 months, I don’t have a job, we haven’t finished the things we need to do…

Stress.

Wake me up when September ends…

Wow.

It is hard to believe that September is almost over. 11 more days until October and 89 days until the wedding. Time is flying by.

I have recently started going to a small group in Colorado Springs. It is a “20’s” group with people from my parents church. I really enjoy the fellowship, though it is hard to break in. History is important. The people are great and I feel welcomed, history just takes time. It is so nice to be able to meet with other people my age once a week. I took this for granted when I was in college, and I regretted that when I was in Japan.

I am still looking for a job, but a girl at my small group works for Compassion International and has been sending me open jobs. Which is really cool. 🙂

I am so excited for my life to start… the waiting for it to happen is the hard part.

Ok… time for the news!!!

I’M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!

More details to come!

The realization hit me last night.

I am going home tomorrow.

It feels too good to be true, and almost like I am preparing for another vacation.

But the empty walls and full suitcases prove otherwise.

Those of you who have experienced the last minute hectic-ness of moving with me… (My mom and Megan.) Know all too well how I procrastinate until the end. 🙂

You would be proud, because I have not done that this time.

I am ready to go… I really am. Perhaps the fact that I always knew this was temporary has made it so easy to leave. Another page has turned. It wasn’t a surprise.

And now I am done… heading home into the unknown, with faith and family as my strength.

Good-bye Japan. It was fun. I will miss you, and I hope to visit you again someday.