Four more weeks….

Life is good.

Asashorju is 8-0… he just might be the first Sumo wrestler EVER to win all 6  tournaments in a year.

Jared… is amazing.

A couple of amazing things have happened lately…

1. Last Thursday, I went to dinner with a group of Japanese women, and talked about boys! (Well, Jared…) It was just like being back home!!!

2. I went on a HIKE, a real honest to goodness hike up a mountain on Sunday with a group of Christians… and had, for the first time since I got here, REAL Christian fellowship!!!

3. SUMO STARTED SUNDAY!!!!! (Enough said)

4. I got to talk to Megan (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HER!!), Jared AND my mom last night!! A treat in the middle of the week!

5. I went into my closet today to find appropriate attire to perform a concert in, and put on the first pair of black pants I remember not being so tight I would pop a button if I sat down. The amazing part???

                 They are now too BIG!!!! ( And I wore them anyway.)

6. I participated in the Culture Day Festival at my school today. Which meant I got to watch my students sing, play instruments… and THEN I got to stand up and play an oboe solo in a song that all the teachers sang…. and it actually sounded ok!!

On the agenda for tonight?? Partying it up with the other teachers at an enkai…

God has really blessed me…

And the countdown to Christmas continues.

Wow… another week has gone by. God has been such a friend to let the time at least feel like it is moving quickly. Perhaps He has just given me more to do so that it FEELS like it is moving faster. Yes, I think that is it.

It is kind of funny thinking about Christmas already. I mean, yeah I have been thinking about the Christmas time frame of December since July… but I mean, really thinking about Christmas. For example, over the past week I have begun purchasing Christmas decorations (which I will not allow myself to put up until November 23, the Japanese day for Thanksgiving here), I bought Christmas cards last Thursday and plan to write those to family sometime this weekend. (Planning ahead is essential, since it will probably take about 2 weeks for anything I send to get there.) And it has finally happened!!! I have become my mother, as I search each store that has plants for the perfect poinsettia.

But do you know what the best part about Christmas is this year? (And no, I wasn’t going to say the fact that I am coming home, even though it is a pretty great part.) The best part about Christmas this year is that, for the first time since before college, and maybe even the year of high school that I worked during Christmas… I have no stress about the season. There are no grumpy holiday shoppers that I have to help, no exams, papers, theory grades to worry about. This year I feel like the spirit of Christmas has finally been able to come inside of me again. And that, my friends, is a pretty great feeling! Even if it is only November 8th.

As for Japan… (and I don’t mean to make that sound as an after thought, since it is a prevalent part of my life…) things are going pretty well. I gave my first lesson today about Thanksgiving in America. And I was late getting to my first class. GAH! But other than the feeling of failure a perfectionist gets often when a small failure occurs… I have prevailed, gave my second class a much  better performance and took my bow. Life in general is pretty great! I have officially lost 6 kgs since I have been in Japan. That is a little more than 12 pounds… maybe almost 13 pounds. That makes me happy. I am 99% recovered from the cold I had last week. YAY! And I have the greatest boyfriend ever. I mean really… I REALLY do!

Ok, thought for the day:

Have you ever pictured being in a time in the future where you would be thinking back to the day that you thought about it in the past? Think about that.

 Well, like self-fulfilled prophecy…. the stuffy/runny/nastified nose began. It was weird. As suddenly as my sore throat appeared Friday morning, it disappeared Saturday leaving behind lungs full of nastiness I won’t even go into, and a schizophrenic nose that can’t decide if it is stuffy, or runny, or both… but is basically frustrating me to pieces. I took the weekend off for the the most part. I slept most of Saturday… like I went to bed at 9 Friday night and didn’t wake up till about 4 pm Saturday. ( And only then because I couldn’t breathe.)

In the whole ordeal, I have really been blessed. I usually would feel SO MUCH worse right now. But perhaps the concentrated amount of vitamins, vitamin C, allergy medicine, and a few puffs of an asthma inhaler… have not only prevented me from cutting my own head off, but have helped me manage still going to school. (These are the only assortment of pills I have, since going to the pharmacy and trying to decipher Japanese medicines is probably more fatal that translating Japanese food products… and I have not been successful with THAT yet.)

The only part that REALLY sucks out of this whole ordeal, is that being sick makes Aris feel lonely in the USA, where a friend is only a phone call away. Try to get someone in Japan to risk catching your germs in order to watch a movie with you, or give you a back rub. (I don’t think I could get anyone in Japan to give me a back rub when I was healthy, on a GOOD day!) It isn’t going to happen. Oh well. The positive part of this, is that I think I am getting better. AND today is November first!!!

No, those two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other. But they both make me happy.

I am SO excited that I get to go home next month!!! I really am. I can’t wait to walk into Walmart and purchase medicines that I will bring back with me to Japan… and knowing my luck, I won’t get sick again until they all expire… oh well.

Later…

I went to dinner with my supervisor last night. She is an older lady who is probably the funniest Japanese person I know… and she doesn’t speak but 4 words of English. The first time I met her, she said “Awaji-mama” and pointed to herself. SO great. She brought along one of her older Japanese friends who showed me pictures of her visit to Germany , where she visited her grandson and daughter (who had married a German.) There was a younger girl at dinner too… at least in her 20’s but seemed maybe 25 or 26. We got along well since her boyfriend is in Italy… ironically where Jared is right now. She also plans to go there to visit him in December. Another coincidence. After a stomach full of okonomiyaki, we went to karaoke. I had done this only once before in Japan, and it was a room full of people, so I didn’t know what to expect out of a group of four. But it was great!! Even if I did prove to myself why I am NOT a professional singer. (AGAIN)

I woke up this morning with the sorest throat I have EVER had! The rest of me feels fine, not even a stuffy nose or anything. But I am bummed, because it sucks to have to teach where bringing water into the classroom is not ok. Oh well.

October is almost over. Soon I will be able to say, “I am going home next month.” And I am ready.

Making mistakes is ok…

So, I have been thinking through the events of my life the past few weeks…

After my revelation almost two weeks ago, life has seemed better. I still count down the days till I come home, but it isn’t all I think about. I have kept myself busy going to dinners with teachers and fellow JETs. I have barely had time to wash dishes, but I have found time to work out every day. Life is becoming normal… which is kinda scary. I have gotten used to being around so many Japanese people, not understanding anything… which is actually starting to change, I know what to mostly expect day after day. The occasional surprise, even if minor, still happen daily. I am getting used to being surprised, which makes surprises not be surprises really… just normal.

I have a confession.

The past few days have been full of self pity. Actually, the past few weeks have been full of self pity. I have been really struggling with my extreme and sometimes surprising desire to go home. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing that enters my mind before I drift off to sleep. I have been counting down the days till I return home since before I left… kind of to keep my spirits up, to remind myself that these feelings of loneliness are temporary and that I WILL be coming home. But within the past few weeks it has become my focus. I no longer walk to school thinking about how lucky I am to be living in Japan, I am thinking ” I can’t wait to go home so I can go_____.”

I know I am in Japan for a reason… and I am desperately trying to remember that. I know God is with me, and that if He is the one who sent me, I should be looking to see where He is working, not checking my calendar every few hours to make sure another day has not passed without me knowing.

So last night I took a real walk. I have been walking since the first of October almost every day, but yesterday I took a real walk. I focused on my surroundings and not on myself. I felt like I had forgotten I lived in  Japan, which is crazy I know, but if you stay indoors a lot, it can happen. And then I came home and read the devotionals from the past three days. (Yeah I have been a bum and hadn’t done them) And here is what I read:

   Grace For the Moment- October 7

‘As we get older, our vision should improve. Not our vision of earth, but our vision of heaven. Those who have spent their life looking for heaven gain a skip in their step as the city comes into view. After Michelangelo died, someone found in his studio a piece of paper on which he had written a note to his apprentice. In the handwriting of his old age the great artist wrote: “Draw, Antonio, draw, and do not waste time.” Well-founded urgency, Michelangelo. Time slips. Days pass. Years fade. And life ends. And what we came to do must be done while there is time.’ – Max Lucado

WOW!!! What a convicting passage for me! I don’t know what I figured I was letting myself do, by getting into a mental state of biding time. It’s like wasting water by letting the shower run, even though you are already clean. Sometimes it feels good to take an extra moment… but in the long run it’s just wasteful. I have been thinking “If I can just make it till Christmas, then I can come back and make an impact.” No… I can look forward to Christmas, but I have this time right now to do what I came to do.

As if that passage wasn’t convicting enough, here is today’s:

      Grace for the Moment- October 13

‘Jesus says the options are clear. On one side there is a voice of safety. You can build a fire in the hearth , stay inside, and stay warm and dry for what you don’t try, right? You can’t fall if you don’t take a stand, right? You can’t lose your balance if you never climb, right? So don’t try it. Take the safe route. OR, you can hear the voice of adventure- God’s adventure. Instead of building a fire in your hearth, build a fire in your heart. Follow God’s impulses. Adopt the child. Move overseas. Teach the class. Change careers. Run for office. Make a difference. Sure it isn’t safe,  but what is?’

Another WOW. This passage made me look at what I have ALREADY done! I must have forgotten the risks I took, the insecurity I faced, the loneliness I KNEW would come… to follow where God wanted me. I forget what I do sometimes… and since it is myself… I always tend to belittle it, even if it is a really good thing. The hardest part is OVER! Now I am here, doing what I do. Waiting on God to call me to my next adventure, while not forgetting that I am here now for a reason. And it isn’t my time to waste.

I am looking forward to coming home… but now, I don’t feel upset that that time isn’t now.

Crazy Days….

It’s raining now… a beautiful cloudy day.

Freshly sent chai is waiting for me at home… as is a workout that I will create as I go.

My shapes are changing… I am not who I used to be.

They call me Alice in Wonderland…. I think I might agree.

Well, here it is… Wednesday. 11:15 pm Japan Standard time… Which means most of you are going to sleep LAST NIGHT, relatively speaking, here in a few hours. Confused??

Many times in the past week I have posted Mental Xanga posts. Mental Xanga posts are like normal xanga posts, except they are in my head and therefore cannot  be appreciated for the awesomeness that they are , by you, the reader.

In any case, you should know about 2 events that have occurred in my live since my last post.

The first is that I did yardwork Saturday! Hopefully most of you remember that I live in an apartment in JAPAN, and houses of entire families rarely have yards to sit cross-legged in… let alone an apartment in japan having a yard. But I did. Well technically I did balcony work…  which is a lot like yard work, except you are in an area the size of a roach motel and about 30 feet off the ground. My goal for last Friday (my day off to appreciate the Autumn Equinox) was to basically destroy the large bamboo screen that had been decaying for years on my balcony. To understand why this is a difficult task, one must first realize that garbage in Japan is a frequent pain in my rear-end. Certain sizes, certain things, on certain days, may only be disposed of… and if you have an item that doesn’t fit into the category… like my bamboo screen… tough patootie. But I wasn’t about to let this eyesore- and quite frankly, DISGUSTING piece of rotting nastiness infested with bugs… on my balcony. I contemplated breaking it down little by little and putting small amounts of it out with my normal garbage… Shawshank Redemption style… but after 2 months, I had finally had it. So I went to the Home Stock store and bought  gardening clippers and gloves. Now the fun part…

This bamboo screen is about 8 feet tall. (remember I am only about 5) and spans about 8 feet wide. I am surprised that this enormous object even fit on the balcony. the pieces of bamboo are all different sizes, but most are about as think as a woman’s finger with some of the larger ones being as thick as a thumb. There is a hemp-like rope that  weaves in and out of each piece of bamboo and there is a rope across the span of the screen about every foot up it. so, even though it is pretty decayed, I can ‘t just rip it apart. I have to separate EACH piece of bamboo and then cut it. So, I start out working in my balcony the size of a roach motel… destroying this piece of nastiness, and avoiding the bugs… which I was surprised weren’t as many as I thought there would be. FOUR hours later, drenched in sweat… the fruits of my labor includes 3 large garbage bags full of the bamboo screen, rope and miscellaneous bugs. But even then, I couldn’t throw these bags away until Monday morning (though I snuck out and threw them away Sunday night…) it was SO nice to have a view free of that bamboo screen.

The second story might seem anticlimactic… I went shopping by myself in a town 20 minutes away. I also had my first fast food since my arrival in Tokyo. McDonalds… was a welcome visit from home! I basically had a date with myself… and I liked it!! So much so, that I am going to do it again this weekend… so that I can buy a new T.V. because YES… mine is BROKEN. And NO I don’t even want to think about how on Earth I am going to get rid of the broken one just yet. I just got rid of the bamboo screen….

On other news… sumo is over. I am sad.

And I have my flight reserved to come home!! Very happy.

That is all for now… until next time…

I can’t believe it has already been a week since my last post. CRAZY. I swear the time is flying, and I am HAPPY about that!!! 80-something days until I grace the North American Continent of the AMAZING  US of A. You people (yes YOU PEOPLE) in Colorado just keep soaking up the fact that you can go buy coffee or chai….mmmm chai….. from a Starbucks. Yes I probably could too… but that would mean a bus ride to a place where I would take a ferry to my final destination of a Starbucks, where the employees probably wouldn’t understand that I need a chai as large as Titanic with 2 shots of vanilla and whip cream. Maybe if I compared it to Godzilla…. hmmm. (The cost of travel, the actual cup of chai and the giant cup holder (which the Japanese people probably imported from America, since that is the only place where you can by a 50 gallon single serving of anything) would set me back my entire paycheck for the month. But really… I am in serious withdrawals from conveniences of the motherland…. like 2 ply toilet paper that feels SOFT, and grocery stores where I could ACTUALLY know what it is I was buying… because, let’s face it… I don’t speak or read Japanese so my next option is to study the pictures on products and hope I choose the better tasting. However… be it known… pictures on foods in Japan, DON’T MEAN ANYTHING!!! There will be a nice picture of something, a flower, a smiling little girl holding her bunny, a beaver gnawing some wood… all of these are on opaque packages (that would take Superman’s x-ray vision to see through) on the aisle that seems to be fruits and vegetables. This is when I leave that row, and head toward the produce department… where everything is clearly marked APPLE, BANANA, FISH, OCTOPUS. No it isn’t REALLY labeled. But God did a pretty good job of distinguishing natural foods with their own characteristics so that stupid people (or people in foreign countries unable to tell if a beaver gnawing wood is gonna be something that tastes good) don’t die of starvation.

This is not meant to say that I am not STILL loving it here. I am. I mean, where else can you get the day off because the national holiday is Aged Day. (Or in other words, a day to celebrate OLD PEOPLE.) So great!!! This also happens to fall within the same week (which, looking at my calendar only happens every 7 years IF leap year doesn’t happen) as the Autumn Equinox… which I also get the day off for. So, two three day weekends with a three day work week… I may never be this utterly rested again.

Well, it is now 4 pm Japan Standard time. Which means it is 1 am for all you Coloradans… I am going to go home now and watch SUMO. More on that topic…. Later.