Ugh.

I feel heavy. And not JUST because I’ve recently put on a few of the pounds I’d lost in October, or the two days worth of milk in my chest.

I haven’t written in a while.

I’ve been busy cleaning boogers, and worrying about babies breathing at night. And dealing with fevers. And middle-of-the-night Emergency Room visits. And growth spurts. And Christmas. And chicken pox. And debit card fraud. And mourning our 12 year old dog, Scarlett’s, death. (And trying to explain THAT to a very observant and intuitive 2.5 year old.) And purging baby stuff that I’ll never use again. And weaning my 11 month old (who will be 1 in 3 days). And working on my marriage. And preparing for the Superbowl. (GO BRONCOS!!!) And preparing for that first birthday party. And watching the snow fall. And having lunch-time dance parties.

It’s a lot. And I’ve not had many chances to process it all. (At least through writing, which I find especially cleansing.)

I’ve withheld writing here because, sometimes, life isn’t all roses, and springtime, or cozy nights by the fire. But I also know so many people who are truly suffering with much bigger problems, and so I feel guilty writing about these things.

But I think I am done feeling that way.

I want to un-apologetically write about my life. To be free to put that out there. I want to write about my babies, and how these growing pains are tearing me up. I want to write about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt I bought myself in December and how  3rd-grade-Aris got a huge kick out of that.

And I think I’m going to.

Delighting in the moments these past two months has been a challenge! There have been some moments I would never wish to re-visit again.

But there have been many moments mixed in there that I will revisit for the rest of my life.

And, you guys…. I think that is why I need to start writing about both kinds of moments.

Because… those awful, awful minutes make those beautiful ones… soooo much more amazing.

Through it all, God is good.