If you work in an elementary school, for any small amount of time, you
will experience something that you had previously never expected. (Or
if you did expect it, maybe you hoped it would never happen.)

Last week was one of those weeks for me.

And it was only four school days long.

Monday, a child greener than St Patrick’s Day, threw up all over the
table next to the teacher who was testing him for report cards. He
missed the report cards, but guess who had to walk him up to the office?

Yours truly.

Nevermind that this is just disgusting anyway. But remember that I had a paralyzing fear growing up of people throwing up.

Tuesday, another child pooped his pants. How did we know? (Because he
certainly didn’t tell us… according to him everything was fine!) The
smell infiltrated two classrooms and only dissipated once his class
went to the library. Guess who had to ask him/get him to confess and
then help him get his nasty undies into a garbage bag to take home?

Yours truly.

Oh, and this wasn’t normal poop smell. This smelled like something crawled up and died in the bowels of this child. (Gag)

Oh…. but it doesn’t end there!

On Wednesday a 1st grader broke his arm at recess. and it wasn’t a
normal break either. I didn’t see any bone sticking out. but the bone
was broken so badly that his forearm connected to his hand wobbled, as
if he were dangling his wrist… just halfway up his arm.
And guess who took him up to the nurses’ office??

Your truly.

I am so tired.

And grossed out.